I have gotten away from who I am, and what is important to me, in service to other people's agendas. It's not their fault, I haven't been coerced, or deceived, or manipulated in some unusual way. I've made bad choices.
I know that's vague, and it's vague because there's too much information to even know where to begin. I am dissatisfied with my life. I am not dissatisfied with other people. I'm not even really dissatisfied with myself. I am dissatisfied with the results of my actions. I'm going to change what I've been doing.
For this audience, people who in some part know me online, I do want to announce the following:
- I am removing the e-mail clients from my telephone. From now on, e-mail will be the way to send me a message that I will read at my desk when I am ready to answer e-mail. If you need to inform me of something urgent, use a voice call or a text message.
- Facebook is a little problem for me the way that it is for a lot of people. The use of emotionally-loaded words like "Friend" and "Like" as labels for making changes to a database record is emotionally confusing for me, even though I rationally know what is going on. I'll be writing more about Facebook later, but please do not try to understand anything about our real relationship from our interaction, or lack of it, on Facebook.
- If our friendship is mostly about me coming to see you, you're going to notice the biggest difference. I have a number of friends who do make a reciprocal effort. I'm going to be hanging out with them. I know I'm part of the problem, you might not have had a chance to reciprocate because I haven't allowed it. Now you have a chance.
- If I've offended you and I have not apologized, I don't know that I've offended you. I want to know. Just tell me, I'll do the rest.