Granite whispers low: "Money, wealth, fame, power here." What nine-eleven?
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Monday, October 27, 2014
I have an IBM Thinkpad X40 that I first acquired in 2005 (but I believe it was actually sold to my employer in 2004). I used it at the bedside as a visiting hospice nurse, then when these machines were retired, I bought a few for myself from my employer because I like the physical design of the machine so much.
It has no internal removable disk drives, no floppy, no CD. These are housed in a removable docking base. It is the design grandfather of the current ultrabook (think MacBook Air) concept.
My MacBook Air (fall 2011 model) is lighter and thinner, but it is so because of hardware and technology that did not exist in 2004. The design concept is the same--clamshell, computer guts topped with keyboard on the bottom, a maxed-out edge-to-edge LCD for a lid. I also still like the X40's red nipple joystick (between G, H and above B on the keyboard) for mouse emulation, no trackpad.
I think the X40 (and X41) was the finest expression of the design concept by IBM. The X60 was too thick, heavy and hot, trackpads got in the way and added too much weight and space, and it just got worse from there. By the time I had another ThinkPad (Lenovo had taken over the business from IBM and) it was an X200 tablet, and that thing was a behemoth by comparison.
The X40 was made obsolete by a combination of the motherboard maxing-out at 1.5 GB of RAM and Windows XP bloating to the point where 1.5 GB just wasn't enough RAM to yield an acceptable user experience. I began installing Debian Linux on these machines in 2006 and they've since remained plenty fast to provide a mobile desktop even while staying current on the latest stable release of Debian (currently Wheezy, version 7.6).
Lately, the problem had been the disk drives in these machines. They were old and slow. Also, the batteries only last about 3 years, so I am on my third generation now. Luckily, there's enough of these machines in use that they still make new batteries.
I replaced the old hard disk in my X40 with an solid state disk and the difference in performance is remarkable. With the SSD, running Debian Linux 7.6 with the lightweight XCFE GUI environment, this machine rocks. It is fast, light, cool, and I get almost six hours of use from one battery recharge. The SSD draws much less power.
I feel like the x40 is kind of like the VW bus of laptops, something that future collectors will covet for actual use. Overlooked in it's day, people who understand the vision in it's design will appreciate it's timeless simplicity and practicality.
It is likely that if you put a slimmed-down, low resource intensive, installation of XP on this machine with an SSD it would do okay, except that XP would trash the drive because it isn't SSD aware.
I think both Apple and Microsoft are floundering a bit with where to go "next" with laptops. Microsoft is pushing this laptop-tablet hybrid, and Apple is pushing the Air lighter, thinner and more powerful, but not much else. I wonder if they fear that a detachable keyboard on the Air would adversely influence iPad sales?
Consider the notion that there's no where to go. The X40 concept is as good as we can get while we are primarily relying upon a keyboard and mouse to interact with the machine.
Much in the same way, no one every really improved on the family mini-van concept after the VW Bus, they may be better expressions of the concept than that top-heavy tin-can on wheels that was the VW model in the 1960's, but the idea is the same. One might argue that SUV's are an improvement, but this is much more like the detachable keyboard being an improvement. It is still just an extension of the basic original idea.
Some designs are complete expressions. A fork is a fork. A bow and arrow is a bow and arrow, there's not a "better" way to do that, just more technologically advanced.
So, I'm happy with my souped-up X40, and I like the fact that the computer I most use for writing is an old relic, like an old IBM selectric typewriter. It takes a licking and keeps on ticking. There's something reassuring about the fact that personal computers have matured to this stage. We know what works. That's a good thing.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
No such luck. My version of VMWare Fusion was not compatible with my new version of Mac OSX, the operating system for my MacBook Air. I had to pay up or get off the pot.
I decided to get off the pot.
I had some really good experience with VirtualBox on a Linux host. My mother relied upon a battered Windows VM, an installation that had persisted through three hardware changes without a re-install before I converted it to a VM in 2011 to give her a layer of protection for the malware infections she was having trouble with.
It worked, and it didn't. The host computer ran flawlessly, the VirtualBox VM degraded over time just as any Windows installation will. After many attempts to resolve some thorny USB bidi communication issues with the port emulator and a multifunction printer-fax-scanner-copier, it finally got to the point where the only real solution which would allow her to be independent of my participation in keeping her computer running would be to move her to a low-end Windows 7 business system and put her data (she's a lawyer) in the cloud.
In short, the problem wasn't really VirtualBox, it was Windows XP's handling of bidirectional messages over USB. She needed to go to Windows 7 anyway, particularly as county courts are finally dragging themselves into reliance on electronic filing of documents and are lining up to buy Microsofts's latest attempt to strong-arm a niche market. ActiveX "security" is popular with county governments.
The "upgrade" to Windows 7 was going to eliminate the access to legacy applications that had previously countermanded a re-install of Windows XP over three hardware changes. This was going to be the painful jump away from those legacy document creation apps that were paid for, permanently licensed, and just worked even though the companies that wrote them were long gone, or gobbled up by something like Lexis-Nexis.
But, I digress.
I moved her to the new box, shut down her limping Windows VM, put all her documents in Google Drive and regained possession of the FoxConn net-top I had loaned her in 2011 to host the VM. I have an SSD in that box, and it is still pretty snappy more than three years later and really a solid year or two out of it's life cycle. It's a AMD64 Dual core 1.6GHz CPU, and I dropped 4 GB of RAM in there (supports 8 GB).
But, I further digress.
I want Windows on my MacBook Air so I can use it for working in Microsoft-centric environments. I mainly just need to be able to use a terminal services client and Internet Explorer, but it's kind of a big deal. If this doesn't work I have to carry two laptops, and the second one (my corporate issue laptop) weighs three times as much as the first one (my personal MacBook Air).
I was tired of being VMWare's financial supplicant, particularly when the upgrades i was paying for added zero functionality for my situation. Oracle distributes a version of VirtualBox for MacOSX hosts, so I decided to give a migration from VMWare to VirtualBox a try.
It was surprisingly simple.
MacHeads: control-click the VMWare VM, choose expand package contents, copy this to your target directory for your new VirtualBox VM, profit.
Seriously. All you need to do then is create a new VM in the GUI, point the disk emulator to the root (the un-numbered one) .vmdk file, and fire that sucker up.
Now, I had issues:
- Windows couldn't find the VMWare mouse driver in Virtualbox by default. It is in the guest additions pack, and you have to do some CLI-Fu to extract it where the plug-and-play system can use it, but it's no big deal.
- Similarly, Windows XP plug-n-play couldn't find the Network adapter driver from VMware, so I killed that one and installed a new one, telling windows it was a Intel Pro 1000 MT desktop adaptor after I went and tracked down that driver.
- The Intel Pro 1000 MT is one of the options in VirtualBox, so it just works. I told the VM to install that port, rebooted, pointed plug-n-play where it needed to go, and voila'.
- Windows needed re-activation (detecting a HAL-layer hardware change), but since I have a good license that was no big deal.
Need to make a copy? Just rsync the directory. I moved that to a Linux host and it booted up without issues the very first time. I've never had that happen with a VMWare migration. There's always something.
So, VirtualBox is cool. If you're thinking about a move from VMWare, go for it. If you want to migrate a Windows XP system from bare metal to virtuality here are instructions for doing so.
It friggin works.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
I have gotten away from who I am, and what is important to me, in service to other people's agendas. It's not their fault, I haven't been coerced, or deceived, or manipulated in some unusual way. I've made bad choices.
I know that's vague, and it's vague because there's too much information to even know where to begin. I am dissatisfied with my life. I am not dissatisfied with other people. I'm not even really dissatisfied with myself. I am dissatisfied with the results of my actions. I'm going to change what I've been doing.
For this audience, people who in some part know me online, I do want to announce the following:
- I am removing the e-mail clients from my telephone. From now on, e-mail will be the way to send me a message that I will read at my desk when I am ready to answer e-mail. If you need to inform me of something urgent, use a voice call or a text message.
- Facebook is a little problem for me the way that it is for a lot of people. The use of emotionally-loaded words like "Friend" and "Like" as labels for making changes to a database record is emotionally confusing for me, even though I rationally know what is going on. I'll be writing more about Facebook later, but please do not try to understand anything about our real relationship from our interaction, or lack of it, on Facebook.
- If our friendship is mostly about me coming to see you, you're going to notice the biggest difference. I have a number of friends who do make a reciprocal effort. I'm going to be hanging out with them. I know I'm part of the problem, you might not have had a chance to reciprocate because I haven't allowed it. Now you have a chance.
- If I've offended you and I have not apologized, I don't know that I've offended you. I want to know. Just tell me, I'll do the rest.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
|Really just one short sentence.|
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Check. Done. And I'm not telling you any more of this story. Suffice it to say the person in question was gracious, conceded that they did resemble the person to whom I thought I was speaking, and took it all in stride and with humor.
Reflect upon how poor a predictor of people lives you turned out to be.
Done. Yep, I missed it in both directions. People I thought were going to turn out to be people whom I would not enjoy later in life actually are quite delightful people, and people I thought were destined for rock-stardom are ordinary. In other cases, there are still people I enjoyed in high school whom I continue to enjoy today. I'm sure if I did some statistical testing on my predictions I'd find rolling dice to be just as accurate. I hope I remember this lesson.
I spotted a couple of people at the door who were in that high school rock-star category. They were chatting with each other, I knew they had remained friends, and stayed on the fringe of the crowd (which is not what they would have done in high school). They seemed a little anxious and unsure of themselves.
I felt compassion for them. I was moved to go over, say hello, and welcome them. That is a huge change for me. That never would have occurred to me in high school. I doubt I would have even seen them enough as real people to recognize that they were nervous. If I had, I certainly lacked the self-confidence and or self-esteem to do anything about it.
I was much more judgmental as a teen (and at the 20th reunion) than I am today. This judgmental mind that divides people up into categories, applies labels and acts on assumptions cut me off from knowledge that I have access to now. Seeing how people "turned out" in contrast to how I predicted they would be makes it really clear to me what the cost of this judgmental mind truly is. That's a valuable illustration and I intend to learn from it.
Confirm (surprisingly widely-held) theories concerning sex between particular teachers and students.
I went to a Catholic high school administered by professional clergy. The Catholic church carries all those stereotypes about illicit sex and abuse of authority for a reason. There's not much else to say, I only have direct knowledge of one incident, but shared observations of developments in the intervening 35 years confirms other hunches, many of which I didn't realize were so widely shared. It's probably overwhelming how widespread a problem this actually is.
Get socially shunned in a thoroughly adolescent manner.
Yep, it happened. It made me sad for that person, and not in a condescending manner. I've been there, I've done that, and I've got the extremely overpriced t-shirt, too. Life really is too short.
I hung on to my high school social situation for a long time. I no longer do. I thought that was the case before this event, but it was nice to have it confirmed. The people who showed up all had in common that they showed up. These people both had the opportunity to be here and the generosity of heart to take the risk and go to the trouble so we could all have this unique experience. I am deeply grateful for that.
There is something about all this that lives on in me, some part of who I am was deeply influenced by this experience I shared with this group of people at my high school in the mid-1970's. We were a human tribe of about 150 people who moved in unison for a number of very highly influential years. What happened, my success and losses, were very meaningful in my life for a long time, and not always in a good way.
But the fact that I was socially awkward, profoundly insecure and savagely critical in high school doesn't define my life any more, and it no longer defines my experience of these people whom I've know in varying measures for more than 35 years. I knew that before this evening, but it was satisfying to see that in action. With such long periods of time between meetings, some changes are easier to see this way.
I have become the person I want to be. I hope others did too.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
It's only been 30 days?
It's already been 30 days?
Wow. As I said in the Day 1 post, a substantial part of my interest in doing this was the practice of doing something new for 30 days itself. Now I know why this deserves a TED talk. I will not forget a number of the events that have transpired in the last 30 days for the rest of my life. I can't say that about the 30 previous to that, or the 60 previous, or the 90. Honestly. That's shocking.
Of course, part of that was my object of the practice itself, putting myself first. The way that actually manifested was I resolved daily to stop putting off something I had been putting off in favor of doing things that were more important to other people. I didn't realize how much of my life is/was given over to doing things for others.
I wish I could give you Rube Goldberg-ish sketch of how pushing over that seemingly innocent domino everyday cascaded into an out-of-left-field introduction to a new social circle, a fantastic professional opportunity (my company is paying to train me for a dramatic break-out of my current salary range), long-overdue resolution issues concerning my financial life, to getting my health screenings and teeth-cleanings back on schedule, etc., but I can't. I'd be making up a story, and I have other things in my life that need my attention more. But please, I encourage you to accept on Faith that taking care of yourself is how you take care of the entire world. It really is.
It doesn't reliably make people happy, not you or others. You don't get applause. I have pissed off a number of people, some of whom I don't expect to hear from for a while. Many people around me think I'm going through a bad phase, some transition time of being an uncooperative jerk. I made some mistakes. I did some things I wish I had not.
My most important realization was the extent to which my friendships are imbued with patterns, habits, scripts and roles which rapidly devolve into some version of care-taking. Care-taking is when one does something which superficially is seen as service to another but the deeper motivation is self-serving. This is an ongoing edge of personal work in my life, but this practice caused things I had been in denial about to appear in sharp focus once again.
For example, I contacted a friend recently when I was feeling low. I said I was scared and discouraged and wanted some friendly support. My friend responded with a well-intentioned lecture concerning why I was in this particular situation. This was followed-up with examples of successes in dealing with the issue under discussion from my friend's life.
I know my friend means well, but I asked for support, directly, in plain English. I said something like "I'm scared and I need support." I never said "I don't understand how I got in this situation." I'm not sure what my friend's agenda was in all this, but the conversation painted my friend as a stable practitioner of emotional maturity and courage while it left me feeling isolated and angry.
This 30 day practice period got me in the habit of asking. consistently and often, "what am I getting out of this normally?" when something happens that doesn't meet my needs. It was then, when I was on the receiving end of this well-meaning lecture I didn't want or ask for that I realized that my normal response would have been to return the care-taking! That is, my friends do this to me because I train them to do this. I reward this behavior.
That is, I would have dropped my agenda for getting comfort from the encounter and picked up the my friend's agenda. Why? To make my friend feel okay for having gone there! This way, I get to prove (to myself, I guess) that I am the best friend ever! I can switch gears so that people don't have to be disappointed when they fail to show up for me! It's okay to ignore the fact that I just asked for a hug when you went to the chalkboard. It's sort of like when I find the pizza I was looking forward to gone from the fridge and I say to myself...
"It's okay, I shouldn't be eating cold pizza before bed anyway...." And I congratulate myself on some illusory self-restraint.
Has it only been 30 days? Wow, a lot has happened. I have packed a year's worth of living into the last 30 days. A lot has happened. In some ways I can't believe it hasn't been much, much longer.
Has to really been 30 days? Wow, that flew by. I will start a new 30-day practice period tomorrow. I have not yet decided what the object of my practice will be, but I have an impulse to do something completely different, in a different area of my life.