I was riding the 3 train to work (that's the #3 Subway line for non-NYers) and I walked into a car just as a tall, slender, gorgeous, redhead entered from another door, walking towards me. We were both headed towards two adjacent open seats.
I need two seats. I'm big and fat. I actually occupy about 1.25 seats, but I need two adjacent seats to be open for me to sit down and still have those seated next to me be comfortable. So, I usually don't attempt to sit down unless I can occupy two seats without inconveniencing someone else.
When I saw this tall drink of cool water was headed towards these seats I motioned for her to sit down. She sat down gracefully, tucked her breezy spring skirt under her legs and motioned for me to sit next to her on her left. I leaned down and said "I don't think you know me well enough to let me to sit in your lap, but thank you" with an smile. She grabbed my right wrist and with one motion turned me around, put my arm around her and pulled me down into the seat on her left.
I am now sitting on the Subway with a stunning redhead tucked underneath my arm. She placed my hand on her hip and rested her forearm on my thigh. Her giant rock of a wedding ring sparkled on her left hand as she patted me affectionately on the inside of my knee. She leaned into me and rode quietly until her stop, 14th street, about a 15 minute ride from where we began.
When she got up, she pecked me on the cheek and said "I used to weigh 330 lbs. Don't be ashamed of who you are" and flounced away, skirt swishing behind her, as she disappeared into that great mass of humanity that is NYC during the rush hour.
I still don't think my feet are touching the ground.