Wednesday, January 31, 2018

On (subtly) slut-shaming porn stars

When Michael Wolffe, author of Fire and Fury, was on Bill Maher he mentioned that he had knowledge of an affair the President was having but he couldn't ever corroborate it well enough to put it in the book, except as an oblique reference in a single paragraph near the end.

Well, not that I ever believed it was anything else, but this confirms Mr. Wolffe's opinion that what he does belongs in the gossip pages.  There's no shame in that; its just good to know.  Liz Smith would be proud of him. 

People rapidly began putting two and two together in the Twitterverse hive mind and decided it was Nikki Haley.  Frankly, in my gossip mind, that works on several levels, it would explain why she has been able to act as a bit on contrarian in the UN without being slapped back at some point like everyone else has.  She does seem to be in possession of a backbone that others aren't.  Hmm.

But, I don't care.  If they enjoyed the physical activities of sexual union that is their business, knowing for sure wouldn't change my opinion of either of them.  

I've been a bit concerned about his possible lack of access to a sexual partner.  I don't think his wife is an option, and there are arrangements that can be made in a Manhattan residential building that can't be made at the White House.  It's not good for the judgment and well being of anyone to be involuntarily isolated from sexual comfort.  While I don't want him to be President, I don't see anything to be gained by desiring anyone's basic human discomfort, even his.

That was a long way to go to get to this observation.  

Some of the discussion concerning NIkki Haley has been called slut-shaming.  The inference is that she fucked her way into her position, or with more shade, that she's using her ability to compromise Trump to keep her job because she fucked him, or is fucking him.  That is not exactly slut-shaming, but it's related.  Even I allude to it above.

What's also being called slut-shaming is the "Eww, how could you think she'd have sex with that pig?" variety of faux-sympathy for the apparently-wronged Ms. Haley.  "Oh, that's just gross!  She's not gross!" faux defense of her honor.  Ms. Haley is just too classy a lady to let that guy anywhere near her in this scenario.  Leave Britney alone!

Ms. Haley might take some comfort in that, but it's not the same as slut-shaming.  In some ways, it's the opposite.

No one said that about Stormy Daniels.  There was no reaction like "How could you think that Stormy Daniels would sleep with Donald Trump for money!  Gross."  Nope, in fact, I could only imagine such a discussion deep in the bowels of an online adult film fan forum, or perhaps among her colleagues in the business.

Nope, everyone assumed that she would do it because she performs sexually on film as a career.  Folks, THAT is slut-shaming.  I mean, if a dearth of something can be called shaming, I'm not sure it can, but it's something like slut-shaming.

So, she's an actress who does erotic movies..  Does that mean she's checking her dignity and boundaries at the door?  No.

Now, as you can go back and see, I'm not sure I'm a fan of hers, I don't know enough about this thing, even if I am willing to believe what seems easy to believe about this.   She knew he was newly married, had a new baby, was prone to misjudgments.  Her motives interest me.  I doubt she needed the money.

But I am unwilling to assume that any man can just walk up to Stormy Daniels with a wad of money and take her to bed.  She would have to assert that affirmatively for me to believe it is true.  

One of my dearest Aunts was a famous stripper, she toured the world.  I knew her as a small, scared child, confused and frightened by the violent alcoholism that infected my nuclear family in the mid 1960's.  This Aunt was an oasis of sanity in my world, never failing to be kind, generous, and wise.  I could always rely on her for a warm embrace and soft, comforting words whispered in my ear.

I loved her slutty clothes before I consciously understood why.  She wore them well.  She was fiercely independent until the end of her life, frustrating my mother and others trying to help her deal with dying from brain cancer in her 50's.  The Priest providing her spiritual comfort at the end of her life fell in love with her beside her deathbed.  He said later he considered leaving the service of the Church to be with her if it was possible she might survive.

So, this influences (I think clarifies is a better term, honestly) my view of sex workers of all kinds.

So, consider if you think it would be gross to have sex with Trump (and I count myself among those), it would be potentially just as gross for Stormy Daniels as it would be for Nikki Haley.   

I think it is much more likely that Trump has ED and his show of swagger is all about compensation for his perceived inadequacies.  Perhaps the incident with the hookers in Russia happened they way it did (i.e., the dossier mentions he asked them to pee on the bed, not on him, and it doesn't say he had sex with them) because he didn't want to confront this.  I dunno.  It certainly might explain part of the equation concerning why Melania decides to stay married to him.  

Interesting no one said "How could you think a gentleman like Donald Trump would commit adultery!" but that's another discussion

Whether either of these women had sex with Trump is (his and) their business alone.  What concerns me is his lying, his abuse, and his attacks.  This discussion about Ms. Haley vs. the discussion around Ms. Daniels is illustrative of something I think is worth pointing to.